Spanked by another

April 16th, 2007

I’m torn right now. I have a shoot coming up next week where I will be spanked by a woman. We’re just going to see if we like the way it looks and decide if that is something we want to add to offer on my website. My partner has been doing all of the spanking/filming/lighting and we want to see what it looks like if he can actually just focus on the filming and the lighting. I’m a little scared and nervous on one hand, and on the other excited to see how it looks. I’ve only been spanked by my current partner and I hold that very close to me. I know that once I am spanked by another person besides him I can never go back.  Being spanked is very intimate and erotic to me when he does it. All of our spankings are real and I feel so very comfortable with him I can be myself and react naturally. I know that spankings are not all erotic and  can be for discipline and other reasons. I don’t know this woman very well and it will be a paid shoot for her and I don’t want it to be contrived or uncomfortable. Also what about the future? More women in our lives and more complications and insecurities. I feel like I need to do this and put my feelings aside so my website can be the best it can be. Maybe my attachment to only being spanked by my current partner is unhealthy and I need to let go of it and move on.( Or is it a cherished moment I should hold on to?) We will be doing it together. He does not feel it’s a big deal at all. He’s spanked other women before me and does not mind if another woman spanks me as long as he can film it.  He just told me that he wants me to cancel the shoot because he doesn’t want to be involved with ruining something that means alot to me. But I want to do it because I feel I’m holding being spanked only by him too important. It’s the way you think about things and I need to look at it differently. I’m just scared that what I have with my partner won’t be as special once someone else gets to spank me. That’s not a healthy way to view it. I need to go through with this shoot. Like Joseph Campbell says “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” So I told him I want to go through with the shoot, please and I promise not to talk about my conflicting emotions anymore.  I guess I just need to grow up a little. Anyone want to share their thoughts on this?

Here’s a pic of me in my new slip. It is the softest cotton I’ve ever felt!!!!!